What direction are you going?

Our lives are filled with joy, pain, victories, and even defeats. We all live lives with all the elements of a best-seller or box office hit and at any given moment would be classified as an action, thriller, drama, horror and most times comedy. In the midst of all of this excitement, I must ask the question, “What direction are you going?”

Our lives are made up of different storylines, or experiences, that guide our decisions and views. The thing that’s interesting about these storylines is that, most times, they have more power than they’re really worth. A storyline, simply put, is a snapshot of a moment in time that we hold on to as a basis for why we act and react the way we do. Here’s an example… Your first love betrayed you and now there’s an expectation of betrayal from every relationship that follows. Or, you secured a job, worked hard at it and became irreplaceable but when it came time for promotion, you were passed over for a new person with no experience. So, the expectation is that no matter how hard you work, you’ll be overlooked and unappreciated.

Storylines are crazy because we tend to hold on to the negatives more than the positives. Quick question… Do you remember your favorite birthday growing up? What made it your favorite? Do you remember the day after? What about the day before? My favorite birthday was the “Chocolate Birthday” where I requested and received EVERYTHING chocolate from the cake to the ice cream to the snacks… I don’t remember the exact age that I was nor do I remember what happened the day before. But, I do remember being sick the day after. Now, does having a chocolate filled birthday make me Willy Wonka? No, but that’s how we treat life and our storylines.

So, how do we get away from this unhealthy cycle? Well, we move towards our own personal values instead of avoiding pain. Most of the time, we make decisions based on our pain, or discomfort, levels. We are running from a storyline that seems to haunt us and our mind is made-up to avoid repeating history. But, running from the perceived pain IS repeating history because every time that we perceive that situation arising we’ll keep running. BUT, when we move towards our values then we are moving in the correct way.

Then, what are my values? My friend, only YOU can answer that. The difficult part about answering the value question is history and expectation. Many of the concepts that we hold to were passed down on our parents, our social circles and even our friend-/relationships. But, where is your heart? What does your heart tell you? If your heart beats to the rhythm of relationships then, why do you keep pushing them away? If your heart speaks baseball then, why are you playing monopoly? The reason that many of us live unfulfilled lives is because we aren’t moving towards our values but rather moving in someone else’s.

When it comes to YOUR values, they are perfect. They are perfect because they are yours and yours alone. You can’t jack up what was ingrained in you. It’s like this… If someone told you to go West, would you ever actually get West? The answer is No. You may go in that direction but you can never actually reach it because West isn’t a destination, it’s a heading.

I know that today’s letter is a lot deeper than normal but I pray that as we move through our lives, that we are conscious of our heading. Are we moving away from perceived discomfort and pain OR, are we headed in the direction of our values?

I love you ALL!!!
Stay Blessed,



This works, I quit…

There is a phenomenon that I’ve recently become aware of that I am trying to wrap my brain around. I don’t understand it because it is counterproductive and just simply WEIRD!!!!

As you know, I am a promoter of the Body by Vi™ Challenge, which is the #1 fitness and weight-loss platform in North America. We help people reach their fitness goals by introducing them to a lifestyle change via a meal replacement shake. The thing that’s cool about this program is that the shake tastes great, it’s affordable and it truly works!!

Enough of the commercial but here’s the meat… In introducing the Challenge to people, I’ve noticed that there are people who have immediate results right out of the gate. My cousin’s daughter took 2 shakes a day for 2 days and lost 3 pounds. She stopped drinking the shakes. One person started with 2 shakes a day, felt an immediate boost in her energy levels and lost 4 pounds in about 10 days. She stopped drinking the shakes. Another person drank 2 shakes a day for 6 days, lost 6 pounds and 4 inches. She stopped drinking the shakes a few days later. Yet, another person started giving the shakes to her son, he lost about 10 pounds in 2 weeks and she stopped the shakes…

I don’t get it. If the product is working as advertised then why are you not continuing with the product? When my cousin’s daughter stopped drinking her shakes, my first thought was, “She is young and just wants to be fat.” I know that, in some circles, it is cool to have a certain amount of weight, or “jelly”, and losing that would be ‘bad’. Okay… I see it but that doesn’t mean I understand it.

I have a friend who is African. No, a real African from Ghana… She and I were speaking to this African community leader about the Challenge. The funny thing is that, as long as we were talking about men losing weight and getting fit, he was fine. But, when we started talking about the African women losing weight, I saw and felt and immediate barrier go up. He didn’t even like that thought and actually told us that the women were fine like they were. I was blown away.

The reality is that as a man, we all have an appreciation of the female body. Some men are more into breasts, whereas other are more into hips and, still others are more into how the full package is put together. I get that. What I don’t get is this… When does our appreciation for something block our rationale for healthy living? It’s not cool to me or a women to have a voluptuous figure with everything put in place ‘just right’ but, her healthy is unfavorable because of her weight. That’s not cool!!! Men, we need to check ourselves!!! You may be enjoying her ‘badonkadonk’ now but what about the future? What’s MORE important?

Women… You aren’t safe in this letter. I’m not going to just beat up on the guys. If you notice in my examples, ALL of those that started the program, started getting results, and quit, were women!!! What is really wrong? I can’t even begin to understand the mind of a woman. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m surprised almost everyday by my wife. So, I won’t go there. But, I will address this. When you started this program a week or two weeks ago, why did you do it? What was that goal that you set in your HEART to reach? I know that you told us that you wanted to do XYZ but what was that internal motivation that told you to pull out that credit card and make this move?

What I think happens is that we get excited over the thought of reaching a ‘dream’ but we get scared when we are finally start moving towards it. It’s fear. Maybe it’s fear of the unknown or fear of meeting that dream and failing later on? I don’t know… YOU have the power to CHANGE!!! YOU have the power over your own DESTINY!!!

Finally, after staying connected to your heart’s goals, we must move with purpose and passion. I was talking with a minister last night and she was telling me how she started the plan so she could lose weight. But, the reason that she wanted to lose weight was so she could get off of her medications. THAT, my friend, is PURPOSE!!! Getting rid of meds is something real and tangible!!! Every time you take another pill, think about this being the last pill that I’m going to take!!! So, when you are making that decision between making your shake versus going to McDonald’s, think about that ‘last pill’!!!

Your purpose will bring you passion! Don’t allow success to hinder your success!!! Don’t allow perceived social acceptances to dissuade you from accomplishing your goals!! Don’t allow your own pride to stop you from making that first step and starting in the first place!!! I know you have goals. You know you have goals… If I can help you reach your goals, then quit trippin’!!!!

Let’s get this thing done, together!!!!

I love you ALL!!!
Stay Blessed,