What to Share…

One of the many goals that I have for writing these letters is to help people to understand that what they are dealing with is okay and that they are not alone in life’s circumstances. I’ve tried to be as transparent as possible when it comes to my own life regarding family, friends, relationships, religion, health and wellness, politics, and pretty much everything else.

The continuous battle that I fight every morning is… what do I write about today? This morning I woke up with a song in my heart and when that happens, I try to write about that song. I went to the bathroom and a couple different subjects popped up. When I sat down at the computer, still more thoughts arose. It can be crazy but, the reality of these letters is that I write about my life. I have been very disciplined in only writing one letter a day even though a billion things have happened since the last letter. So, the question remains, what do I share.

Yesterday was dedicated to one of the mothers. I spent literally all day in the hospital because she had to have some tests run and she was incredibly nervous about it. The thing that got me was her privacy towards her health. I understand about being private. Before I started these letters, I only discussed my thoughts, feelings, and concerns with a very select set of people AND I never gave one person everything. Everyone in my circle would have knowledge of what was going on but I only talked about certain things with certain people. I hope I’m not being confusing.

The problem that I have with mother is that she is private to a fault and with the wrong people. You see, I don’t mind that you don’t tell me everything that’s going on. As a son, there are some things about mothers that we don’t want to know but should at least be relayed to the people that can help. When you don’t share everything with the doctors then, there is a problem.

Unfortunately, unless you are a really good and thorough doctor, the medical profession will fail you. This failing isn’t because they aren’t good at what they do. This failing is there because of so much dependence on the patient. Here’s an example…

At one time, my mother-in-law was on 1.6 million different medications. Over the years, she would go to here doctor and tell them a symptom and they would give her a prescription to meet that need. When, she’d get a new symptom, she’d go back to the doctor and he would again write a prescription to meet that need. This circle went on for years. Then, she had to change doctors. The new doctor saw the list of prescriptions, which honestly was about 15 meds, and took her off of all of them (save the blood pressure med). She was left with one pill. The purpose was to start with a clean slate and actually diagnose the patient and not just be told about a symptom and fill that need.

So, coming back to the present, the difficulty that I face is that I want to help mother but if SHE doesn’t give the physicians ALL of the information then what am I to do? My hands are tied. All I could do was pray for her and pray that the physicians get the necessary information that they need. The interesting part is that she is gets aggravated by all of the return visits to the doctor and all of the continued tests. The more aggravated that she gets, the more that I’d like to tell her, “Just tell them everything that’s going on and maybe they’ll either stop testing or have fewer tests!!” You see, I referred her to her primary physician. The reason that I love this doctor is because she is EXTREMELY thorough AND she doesn’t take any junk from her patients.

The Wrap-Up
I know that today’s letter seemed a bit scattered or misplaced but what we have is two different messages with the same theme… knowing what to share. There will always be things going on. There will always be a lot of things going on. The key is knowing what to share and who to share it with. Not everyone is out to just be nosy. Don’t get me wrong… I’m very aware of those people. But, that isn’t everyone. Now, when it comes to your health… Please, please, please, build a relationship with your physician and allow them to help YOU. You never know, that one piece of information that you’re withholding could actually save your life!!!

I love you ALL!!!
Stay Blessed,



Daddy’s in the hospital…

Today, I really didn’t feel like writing. My mind has been going in a lot of directions over the last day or so and I’ve been going thru and emotional roller coaster. At this point in my life I have more than a few God questions and I really want answers…

Yesterday, my dad called me and said that he was going to the emergency room. This isn’t a normal occurrence because my dad isn’t that person that runs to the ER. It was funny because he said, “Hey man, I’m gonna go by the emergency room, as soon as I get my clothes on… but everything’s alright”. Being the perceptive one, I dissected his statement…

1- Purpose; going to the emergency room isn’t like visiting your sister. You don’t just “go by” there. Whenever someone goes to the ER they are going with purpose and usually something’s wrong.
2- Urgency; if you are going “as soon as” anything that means there is immediate need
3- Blow-off; “but everything’s alright”. What in the… don’t even try it!!! I’ll be there in moments…

I get to the hospital… No wait. Let me back up… It takes ME 3 point 2 seconds to get cleaned up, teeth brushed, dressed and ready to walk out the door but, my children are home and they need to go with me. Why does it take 400 years just for these people to get out of the bed? Add another 100 years for them to go into the bathroom and stand in the middle of the floor; add another 50 years to decide “should I use the bathroom since I’m standing here?” Add another 40 years for them to roam around the bathroom looking for… I don’t know what? OMG!!!! I’M READY TO GO!!!!!

My wife makes me grab a quick shake (that was good looking out because I was hungry but didn’t care). Now… I get to the hospital to see my dad laying in the bed just chillin’. This dude had exchanged his shirt for the gown but otherwise he was fully dressed. Laying there talking to Ms. Pam (his wife). No visible pain, no uncomfortable looks, everything seemingly okay…

One thing that cool about my dad is that this is his third time being in the hospital in his 69 years of life!!! He visits people in the hospital but he’s not the one IN the hospital. He also has a teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy teensy-weensy little fear of needles. To put it lightly, he’s SCARED of needles and when the doctor said that they were going to start an IV… I knew things were going to get interesting. And after they stuck him the second time and didn’t get it, I left. I can’t watch my dad in pain.

The day progresses… testing is done, samples are taken and results come back. Everything looks fine but no root cause for his symptoms. This is what I don’t like about the medical profession, there are too many variables. Unlike working on computers, there’s a yes or no for everything and it’s about finding the correct problem. Well, in medicine, there is the baseline for the individual and the doctors make their best guess based on a bunch of different things. I appreciate all that they do. I just know that I couldn’t do it and I still want firm answers.

Long story made brief… my dad was admitted for further observation and more testing. Prayerfully, today we will have the answers and solutions.

As I write this letter, I am reminded that every single day of our life is an adventure. Some days are packed with surprises whereas others not so much. Each day is definitely different. The other thing that comes to mind is that we should never undervalue those people in our circles of influence; our family, our friends, our co-workers, etc. You truly don’t know how important they are to you until there’s a need.

You only get one mom and one dad. Take care of them. Love them. Cherish them…

I love you ALL!!!
Stay blessed,