Destiny…

Writers block is a mess. Sitting down at the computer with full intention to share your thoughts and feelings when nothing wants to come out is horrible. What’s equally as bad is the opposite… too many thoughts and that’s what I’m dealing with today. Since my letters are daily, I try to only write ONE letter and selecting the ‘now’ topic can be a bit overwhelming. You see, for me writing is life.

How can writing be life? Simple, just like our everyday movements, circumstances and situations, we have lots of choices to make. Each choice has an expected and an actual outcome. It’s cause and effect. Every decision that we make creates a ripple into our destiny. Some decisions like am I going to drink the chai tea or lemongrass tea with my breakfast create small ripples that in the grand scheme of things aren’t very significant. But, how about the decision to give your server a 30% tip instead of a $1.00? Either way, you’ve left an impression on that person and who knows how large that ripple will become in YOUR destiny.

I heard it said that, you can tell a person’s destiny by the size of their dreams. And before I go further, I’m not talking about your ‘I ate too much before going to sleep’ dreams. I’m referring to your lifelong heart’s desires. I’m talking about where do you truly want to see yourself in the future. There was a show called, “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” (Today, it would be called, “Cribs”). But, in this show Robin Leach would visit these wealthy people and gain access to the things that they did and how they lived. Every show was amazing! Seeing the fine homes, the yachts, the private aircraft, the excursions to far away lands… That’s ALL ME!!! That’s one part of what I dream to be!!! The other part of that same dream is going next door to visit my neighbor who was able to meet his dreams because of OUR relationship. It’s all well and good to become a multi-billionaire. But, I don’t want to go there alone. I want to be able to see my friends and family go there with me. I want US to build our dreams together!!!

But that’s one of MY dreams. What about you? What do you dream about?

I was talking to someone the other day and they were really upset with their spouse. They were upset because of their spouse’s tunnel vision. Tunnel vision isn’t a bad thing if it keeps you from being distracted and drives you to success. On the other hand, is your focus on things that are going to take you into your destiny, or not? Here’s an example, I’m a musician and a business owner. My business brings income, stability and wealth to my family. It is driving us into our destiny. It is a MAJOR piece of it. My music is something that I love to do and something that I do well but I know that it is only a step into my destiny. It is only a small piece of it. So, if I focused primarily on the music then my destiny is all but destroyed. We have to stop majoring in the minors!!!!

How do we address these ripples?

First, we must become “destiny minded”. We have to understand that what we do has an affect on our  long term future. Most of us, me included, generally focus on the ‘here and now’ and how things are going to turn out without the next week to a couple of months at the longest. We need to start planning further out. Sit down and write your personal vision, your family vision and your corporate vision. They all work together BUT they are ALL different!!!

Secondly, take the steps towards fulfilling your destiny. If you want to be a pastor then you probably want to start studying the Bible, learning people skills and business management. If you want to own your own hair salon, then get your cosmetology license and start building your clientele. You see, the long word for destiny is your destination. It is a journey and it’s not only a mindset but a skillset.

Finally, and this one is tough, we must realize that destiny is a moving target and we must but able to adapt to the changes. Using the previous examples, 40 years ago the ideal hair salon may have been a small boutique with 3-4 chairs where only hair was being done OR even better the perfect ‘shop’ was actually at the beautician’s home. But today that salon needs to have at least 8-10 chairs and not only do hair but also do nails, massages and waxing. Looking at pastoring 40 years ago, the average size of a church was less than 50 members and most of them were related to the pastor. Every church seemed to have that Sunday School plaque on the wall that showed 14 people attended and the offering was $8.43. And the highlight of the Sunday School service was the “Penny March”!! Whereas today, pastoring requires a degree in technology, economics, sociology, psychology, homiletics and hermeneutics, as well as being a student the Bible.

The key here is to know where you are going in the first place. Once you know what your destiny is, then you can begin moving towards it…. on purpose.

I pray that this letter has been a blessing to YOU. It surely has been one for me…

I love you ALL!!!
Stay Blessed,
Jackie

Advertisements

What’s the purpose?

Often times, we do things out of habit. We go thru the same routines religiously every day, every week, every month and the next thing we know, a lifetime has passed by. Many of the things that we do are good things. Bathing, brushing your teeth, deodorant… these are great things!! Don’t stop. But, I’m not referring to these kinds of things. Let’s look at a bigger picture…

Due to some health concerns, I have taken a leave of absence from work. During this time away, I plan to focus on getting me together and also do a lot of soul searching. What’s interesting is that when I was talking with my manager he had spoken about how much potential that I have and how I could make a lot of money and be very successful when I totally focused on building my business. All these things are wonderful. I’ve been told about my personality and potential, quite honestly, all of my life. Unfortunately, if you know me, these things don’t move me. What moves me is people and being able to help them in whatever way that I can.

I’ve asked myself many times over the years, why do you do what you do? What’s the purpose? The same answer comes back almost every time… People. The crazy part is that I’ve been hurt, mishandled and abused by people soo many times that there is always this little barrier, sometimes a huge barrier. My friend once told me that there are a lot of layers to me and that I should share them with everyone not just ‘situational sharing’ (hehe, I just made that up – situational sharing). Situational sharing basically means that the Jackie you get is totally based on the environment, or situation. So, church people get the church Jackie. Business people get the business Jackie. Party times get the party Jackie. But, how often do people get to truly learn about the rest of Jackie? What about the giving Jackie, the loving Jackie, the caring Jackie, the problem solver Jackie, the counselor Jackie, etc. All of these different environments tap into a piece of Jackie but who gets the full deal?

My response to releasing, or letting go of, this situational sharing was this… “Why should I? What purpose will it serve for me to open myself up like that?” Everything that we are involved in is wrapped in purpose. The real question is, “What IS that purpose?”

Knowing your purpose and working in it will bring joy to those you serve. This past week, I tended to my Dad in the hospital. When we were leaving, he talked about how wonderful the staff had been to him and that he had an ‘enjoyable stay’. Wow!!! When was the last time anyone related a hospital stay to being enjoyable? That tells me that the doctors, nurses and everyone else that served my Dad worked in purpose.

Over the last 20 years, I’ve been involved with my share of churches. Again, the question of purpose is still very real. What is the purpose of the church? We should ask ourselves these questions? We should ask our leaders these questions? We should ask God these questions? Many times, churches get away from their purpose because of life. A few quick examples… One church was in turmoil because the pastor died and the pastor that was appointed wasn’t liked by everyone. So this pastor carried the burden of not being accepted and this affected their decision-making. One pastor dealt with divorce and the damage that the divorce did not only to him and his family but to the church. And they watched as the church went from a “mega-church” to a storefront church in just a few years. And finally, one pastor who used to be a drug dealer reverting back to his old attitudes. So, whenever different situations would arise, we would treat people as if they were his personal entourage, or slaves. But, these are the examples of lost purpose.

On the other hand, I’ve been involved with churches that are successful and that are reaching their communities. People are being helped. People are not only learning about their Creator but learning how to manage life, finances, relationships and all of that. What I’m saying is that we need to stay on track with purpose. And, if we’ve gotten off track then we need to get back on!!!

This weekend, I was also able to meet with and hang out with my fellow “Challengers”. One of the key themes for the weekend was dealing with your mind, body and spirit. Yes, we are all small business owners / entrepreneurs. Yes, we are all here to learn about how to make our businesses grow. But, the purpose of what we do is not about the money but about helping people. Hearing the stories about how each people has been helped, seeing the results of people that have been helped and are now paying forward and being in the atmosphere of people that truly want to change the world… Now, that’s powerful!!! People wrapped in purpose!!!

At this time in my life, I’m really searching for purpose, purpose and more purpose. I don’t want to continue gliding thru life wondering what will happen next. Or just floating along being pushed here and there with no real place to stop.

How do we fix it? A couple of different ways, first things first… set goals. How can we know where we’re going if we don’t have a destination? Secondly, surround yourself with goal-oriented, purpose driven people…

Now, here’s the test. Today, when you read this letter, please hit ‘Like’ BUT, ALSO…. Tell me what YOUR goals are for this year. You can leave it as a ‘Comment’ or you can inbox me…

As always, I love you ALL!!!
Stay blessed,
Jackie