Trust me…

Together these are two of the most powerful words in the English language. The reason that they’re so powerful is because this phrase is a ‘request’ for power. The speaker is asking the listener to give up their power and put their faith in the one talking. This is NEVER easy to do because we all have our perceptions, concepts and ways of doing things. To give up this power is deep, even if only for a moment…

The problem that we face is that, all too often, we’ve been hurt or our trust has been hampered with. Our barriers of trust are always on full alert. We don’t want to let anyone in because we “can’t take another blow”. Sometimes our pride comes in and we feel like they don’t know what they’re talking about, they can’t do the job as well as me or they don’t understand my point of view.

As great leaders, we must first be great followers. There should never come a time when we aren’t following someone and I’m not just talking about being lead by God. No, we should always be connected. Always growing, always learning, always depositing… You see, we were designed to receive AND give. When we deny one of these two principles then we create dysfunction.

I’ve been a leader in more than a few different businesses. The ones that are the most successful are those that allow people to function in their roles. Why have a staff if YOU are going to do all of the work? At times, I am guilty and fall prey to this method of dysfunction. But, I’ve also told my people to pull me back in when I ‘step on their toes’. People can’t maximize their potential if we teach them how to do something and then WE do it.

There has to come a time when we, leaders, have to step back and trust them. We’ve taught you what to do… now do it. As leaders, we are there to oversee but when we feel that need to always jump in and take over then what good is that really doing? What are we teaching them when we do that? What are they learning? When we consistently do that, the people development isms and schisms about performing their duties. They can become unstable and unsure of themselves, which can literally stunt their growth and potential.

The crazy part is that the stronger the people are the more likely they will be to find outlets to function properly. There is an innate need, or desire, to get it done. Some will persevere and wait with us to get it together, while others will do the work elsewhere. Over the years, I’ve seen some of the greatest talent mishandled by overbearing leaders who wouldn’t allow them to do what they do. And the result is that they simply went somewhere else where they had the freedom to be themselves.

As leaders, we ask the people to trust us but guess what… The people are asking us leaders to trust them.

I love you ALL!!!
Stay Blessed,
Jackie

 

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What to Share…

One of the many goals that I have for writing these letters is to help people to understand that what they are dealing with is okay and that they are not alone in life’s circumstances. I’ve tried to be as transparent as possible when it comes to my own life regarding family, friends, relationships, religion, health and wellness, politics, and pretty much everything else.

The continuous battle that I fight every morning is… what do I write about today? This morning I woke up with a song in my heart and when that happens, I try to write about that song. I went to the bathroom and a couple different subjects popped up. When I sat down at the computer, still more thoughts arose. It can be crazy but, the reality of these letters is that I write about my life. I have been very disciplined in only writing one letter a day even though a billion things have happened since the last letter. So, the question remains, what do I share.

Yesterday was dedicated to one of the mothers. I spent literally all day in the hospital because she had to have some tests run and she was incredibly nervous about it. The thing that got me was her privacy towards her health. I understand about being private. Before I started these letters, I only discussed my thoughts, feelings, and concerns with a very select set of people AND I never gave one person everything. Everyone in my circle would have knowledge of what was going on but I only talked about certain things with certain people. I hope I’m not being confusing.

The problem that I have with mother is that she is private to a fault and with the wrong people. You see, I don’t mind that you don’t tell me everything that’s going on. As a son, there are some things about mothers that we don’t want to know but should at least be relayed to the people that can help. When you don’t share everything with the doctors then, there is a problem.

Unfortunately, unless you are a really good and thorough doctor, the medical profession will fail you. This failing isn’t because they aren’t good at what they do. This failing is there because of so much dependence on the patient. Here’s an example…

At one time, my mother-in-law was on 1.6 million different medications. Over the years, she would go to here doctor and tell them a symptom and they would give her a prescription to meet that need. When, she’d get a new symptom, she’d go back to the doctor and he would again write a prescription to meet that need. This circle went on for years. Then, she had to change doctors. The new doctor saw the list of prescriptions, which honestly was about 15 meds, and took her off of all of them (save the blood pressure med). She was left with one pill. The purpose was to start with a clean slate and actually diagnose the patient and not just be told about a symptom and fill that need.

So, coming back to the present, the difficulty that I face is that I want to help mother but if SHE doesn’t give the physicians ALL of the information then what am I to do? My hands are tied. All I could do was pray for her and pray that the physicians get the necessary information that they need. The interesting part is that she is gets aggravated by all of the return visits to the doctor and all of the continued tests. The more aggravated that she gets, the more that I’d like to tell her, “Just tell them everything that’s going on and maybe they’ll either stop testing or have fewer tests!!” You see, I referred her to her primary physician. The reason that I love this doctor is because she is EXTREMELY thorough AND she doesn’t take any junk from her patients.

The Wrap-Up
I know that today’s letter seemed a bit scattered or misplaced but what we have is two different messages with the same theme… knowing what to share. There will always be things going on. There will always be a lot of things going on. The key is knowing what to share and who to share it with. Not everyone is out to just be nosy. Don’t get me wrong… I’m very aware of those people. But, that isn’t everyone. Now, when it comes to your health… Please, please, please, build a relationship with your physician and allow them to help YOU. You never know, that one piece of information that you’re withholding could actually save your life!!!

I love you ALL!!!
Stay Blessed,
Jackie