Word from a dying man…

Letter from 2012-11-21

There are times in our lives where we as people tend to re-evaluate ourselves. Generally, we do this during milestone events; pending graduation, marriage, childbirth, our birthdays, etc. During these times we take inventory of our lives, where we stand, completed or missed goals, accomplishments but not only the whats of life but also the whos. Who is with me today that wasn’t yesterday? Who have I spent, or wasted, my time with? What is really important in life? How do I fit into the grand scheme of things? What will I be remembered by? Who will come to my funeral? What will they say? Will it be truth or just a bunch of flowery words? Have my pursuits been fruitful or fruitless? What is my purpose in life? Who am I, really?

When my mom was preparing to leave this plain, we were serviced by an organization called Hospice. The purpose of hospice is to help the patient and family through the last six months of a person’s transition from life to death. My experience with them wasn’t pleasant. It wasn’t pleasant because at some point with these people it no longer was about the person that was dying. It was a job, just another day at the office. It was another paycheck. These people performed their jobs but in all actuality they were cold, uncaring and heartless. They cared FOR the patient (my mom) but they didn’t care ABOUT her. Why? It’s a great service that they provide. But it’s about the heart of what you do. The acts are one thing but acts of the heart are something completely separate. Once your heart moves away from serving… you should move too.

Last night, my pastor spoke about being a servant and the various attributes thereof. As he spoke, the part that hurt me the most wasn’t that I didn’t carry these values but rather that I did. I’ve tried to be a servant by balancing desire over duty, caring for the feelings of others, being purposefully on fire to serve, taking the lower seat, caring deeply about others, serving joyfully, selflessly, looking for ways to serve, anticipating needs, and serving behind the scenes without seeking recognition. I’ve done all of that. But where is the reap and sow factor? I give this out. Why don’t I seem to get this back? I’ve given my heart, my love, my treasure, my all to people, places, causes and seemingly nothing… Where are those that serve the servants?

The bible tells us that we all have an appointment. Since, we don’t know the date, time or place of this appointment then we should treat every moment, not every day, every moment, as if it were our last. Do the things that matter. Do it from the heart. Not everything has a monetary value, some things are priceless. If someone is missing a smile, give them yours. Do a kind deed for someone without looking for some sort of payment. Serve someone. You never know… YOU may be serving a servant.

I want to be remembered as a servant. How do you want to be remembered?

I love you ALL
Stay Blessed,
Jackie

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