you SHOULD be happy for me…

i’ve found the one who loves me for me
i’m now connected with someone who doesn’t mind my flaws
i’m in a place that brings me great joy
you SHOULD be happy for me

i’ve accepted the fact that yesterday is gone and i’m moving forward
i’ve made a commitment not to replay the errors of times past
i’m moving forward into a new and exciting time and season
you SHOULD be happy for me

you should be happy for me but you’re not…
your choice is to embrace the people and the times that caused me so much hell
in the name of protection, you selfishly question my ability to make decisions for me
your contempt is felt and acknowledged even tho…
you SHOULD be happy for me

the problem with this whole line of thinking is that
instead of drawing me closer, you’re pushing me away
instead of protecting me, you’re rejecting me
instead of loving me, you’re really hating on me

i get it tho…
you wish things were different… well, so do i
you wish that situations / circumstances would have worked another way… well, it didn’t
you wish that i were still at your beckon and call… well, i’m not
you wish that things could stay like they used to be… well, things change

truth is…
life is too short to be unhappy
so, i’m moving forward with my life
my preference is that you would still be a part of my new life
but, the reality is that we don’t always get what we prefer
we don’t always get what we want
we don’t always get to have a say in what someone else is doing

but here’s the wrap-up…
the future will look one of two ways…
(1) actually BE HAPPY FOR ME…
and we can move forward in life and enjoy this new season TOGETHER or
(2) don’t be happy for me…
and i will move forward in life and enjoy this new season WITHOUT YOU

 

Advertisements

Nu Start to Nu Sound…

There comes a time when life slaps you in the face and you have a choice to make… Do I continue on the path that I’ve been on or… Do I make a change?

Sometimes these pivotal moments come as silent whispers and other times they come as a hurricane. But, either way, we end up standing there face to face with our own reflection in the mirror asking what am I doing???

Tonight, was that night for me. I have come to the true realization that the road that I’ve been traveling has brought me and those around me a great deal of pain and grief. I’ve been tortured by my own decisions. Haunted by the ghosts of past failures. But, still on the path to repeat those same mistakes all over again.

To put it plainly, I’m sick of ME!!! And, instead of living the life of insanity (doing the same things but, expecting different results), I choose to change. And, that change begins… RIGHT NOW!!!

Before beginning this letter, I had to put first things first… I went to God and begged HIS forgiveness. The change HAS to start on the inside in order for the outside to truly be changed. I openly repent to God for all of my wrongs and I vow to DO and BE right!!!

I ask the forgiveness of my family and friends. There have been times when I KNOW that I’ve been a jerk, that I’ve been _____, that I’ve been _____, and that I’ve even been _____ (YOU fill in the blanks). Please forgive me… Today is the start of something incredible between each of us. I pray that the past errors will truly stay behind us and we’ll be able to move forward!!

On the other hand,
I would like thank my dad (Jackie Smith Sr.) for being a true example of what a man should be even in the midst of turmoil and dissension. You have shown me that you can STILL do the right thing even when others have done you dirty.

I would like to thank my brother and sister (Jermaine and Kimberly Smith). I’ve missed out on so much because I was in my own world. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for including me even when I didn’t deserve it or want it. I hate that I won’t be able to go on vacation THIS time but, I can’t wait until the next time!!

I would like to thank my closest friend (Marla Price). You have been ever so consistent. You’ve been the nanny for my Boyz, my confidant, my hangout partner, and you’ve even been there when I just needed to vent. I truly appreciate all that you have done for me.

I would like to thank my big brother (Apostle John Walker). You’ve been my rock. When I’ve been torn between two decisions you’re always there to give me the God side of things. You have encouraged me soo many times. Just hearing your voice over the phone is an immediate blessing to my heart. I’ve sat down and watched some of your messages on Facebook and you spoke directly to ME and didn’t even know it. Thank you Bishop!!!

And, finally, I’d like to thank my mom (Pamela Smith). Even tho you didn’t birth me… you truly are my mother. There’s nothing like a mother’s love and you have always shown that to me even when I didn’t fully embrace you back. I love you girl!!!

Today is the Nu Start of Nu Sound… I’ve felt transition in the air for quite some time but, it truly begins today… In Jesus’ name

I love you ALL!!!
There’s a Nu Sound in the Air…