An Unfair Comparison

All too often, we compare our various situations and circumstances with what we envision, and in some instances, or what we know others are going through. I call this, ‘An Unfair Comparison’.

What makes it ‘unfair’ is the fact that in every event in life, there are a multitude of sides. At one time, we would say that there are THREE sides to every story… Your side, Their side, and the Truth. Unfortunately, I don’t believe it’s ever that simple.

The parts that add complexity to any scenario are timing and weight. Growing up, people would say that someone got on their LAST NERVE and they just snapped. My question is how do you know that they got on your last nerve? When did you run out of nerves? What happened prior to this one event? All of these smaller events lead up to the final snap. But, remove or reorder any of these smaller events and the outcome would be quite different.

Example…
Joe went to work and found out that the promotion that he has worked for several years to get is actually going to that contractor that just started last month. Later that same day, he gets caught in traffic and is delayed arriving home by 45 minutes. When he gets home, he finds out that one of his children got bullied in class and doesn’t want to go back to school, his second child got the flu from the daycare, and his third child has to be at a soccer practice that she ‘forgot’ to tell him about that starts in 15 minutes but the soccer field is 30 minutes away. When Joe returns home from taking his child to soccer, his wife says that dinner’s not ready because they need to go to the grocery store. Now, to everything that has gone on until now… Joe is cool. But, when his wife tells him about dinner being delayed, he has an ENTIRE meltdown.

The above example is an over-exaggeration from MY perspective… But, for many, this is everyday life.

I recently saw on the news how a young man went to work and killed his supervisor then went to his manager’s home and killed them. What made this story even more sad was that he did it completely naked. What pushed him to this point? Simply getting passed over for a promotion wasn’t the ONLY factor.

What leads a person to stab their spouse AND their 4-year old child?

I don’t know what lead them to these horrible places. But, there are a few things that I DO know…

1. BEFORE a person commits these types of actions, their life is spiraling downward and there are people around them who KNOW it. Just because I say that everything is okay doesn’t mean that I’m being completely truthful about my situation. Sometimes, we need to LISTEN to our loved ones. They may be crying out for help and we are the ONLY ones that they’re crying out to.

2. Status is NOT important. We all have seen or read stories of great tragedies being committed by some of the most unlikely people. I remember, several years ago, a homeless person made the local news because someone stole his shopping cart. What made this story newsworthy was that this person was homeless because he WANTED to be. He didn’t want to be in the ‘system’. So, he cleared all of his bank accounts, sold his house, and changed his life completely. Unfortunately, all of his cash, nearly $500,000, was located IN his shopping cart. Petty crime, huh?

3. Finally, and MOST importantly… God. I know I may have lost of few readers right there. But, God who? What about God? Where is God when these things happen? How can God just sit there and watch? Isn’t He supposed to shield, or protect us? Why does God allow this stuff to happen?

Many things happen because we aren’t in connection with God. He leads us, guides us, protects us, shields us, makes ways for us, and is always there for us. But, how can we compare our God-less situations with God Himself?

When those BIG things happen we are quick to say, “Oh my God” or “Jesus”. But, when those little things are happening to us which are leading us up to that BIG thing… are we calling on Him then or are we trying to fix things ourselves?

I must be honest. I have gone through life on the second half of that statement. I’m a fixer. I analyze a situation, or circumstance, then I do my due diligence to provide a fix all by myself. Unfortunately, I don’t have all of the answers. AND, my fixes don’t always work. AND, many times, my fixes make things worse.

It’s truly time to stop looking at other people’s lives and talking/thinking down on them when our own lives are just as jacked up as (and sometimes, even worse than) theirs. It’s time to stop trying to fix everything ourselves and give our problems over to God. The way He fixes things compared to how we fix things is simply ‘An Unfair Comparison’.

There’s a Nu Sound in the air…
I love you ALL!!!

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you SHOULD be happy for me…

i’ve found the one who loves me for me
i’m now connected with someone who doesn’t mind my flaws
i’m in a place that brings me great joy
you SHOULD be happy for me

i’ve accepted the fact that yesterday is gone and i’m moving forward
i’ve made a commitment not to replay the errors of times past
i’m moving forward into a new and exciting time and season
you SHOULD be happy for me

you should be happy for me but you’re not…
your choice is to embrace the people and the times that caused me so much hell
in the name of protection, you selfishly question my ability to make decisions for me
your contempt is felt and acknowledged even tho…
you SHOULD be happy for me

the problem with this whole line of thinking is that
instead of drawing me closer, you’re pushing me away
instead of protecting me, you’re rejecting me
instead of loving me, you’re really hating on me

i get it tho…
you wish things were different… well, so do i
you wish that situations / circumstances would have worked another way… well, it didn’t
you wish that i were still at your beckon and call… well, i’m not
you wish that things could stay like they used to be… well, things change

truth is…
life is too short to be unhappy
so, i’m moving forward with my life
my preference is that you would still be a part of my new life
but, the reality is that we don’t always get what we prefer
we don’t always get what we want
we don’t always get to have a say in what someone else is doing

but here’s the wrap-up…
the future will look one of two ways…
(1) actually BE HAPPY FOR ME…
and we can move forward in life and enjoy this new season TOGETHER or
(2) don’t be happy for me…
and i will move forward in life and enjoy this new season WITHOUT YOU